you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
