...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
