we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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