he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
