Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
His nipple licking is glorious
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