wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
