They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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