THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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