I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
