Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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