Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
