I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
