I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
