if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
