i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I party with great urgency now.
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