probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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