somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
