I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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