That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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