I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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