Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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