Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
