I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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