Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize