I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
