come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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