i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
