I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
