I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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