all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she peed on how many people?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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