youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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