so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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