I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
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Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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