the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
