But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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