Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
