my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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