Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
