Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
