Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
