We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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