Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
