Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
