i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
