I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
