Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
