i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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