I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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