don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
