we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
