I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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