Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
