would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
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I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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