He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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