Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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