Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
