When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
