operation have a gay friend backfired
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
