Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Where is the hickey?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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