Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
