We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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