This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize