weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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