i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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